How To Attract A Girl

So, You like to get a girl, who is your class mate, colleague, girl at next door, a party chick or some one? You are a shy guy to start with girls? Keep this in your mind always "Girls aren't aliens to fear about". Kick your foolish shyness and fear at first.


Be a Man:
Do not degrade yourself with your inferior things. Look at the couples you see at beach, park & every where else.. If he can get a girl then why not you?


First Meet/Date/Conversation?
Buddy, You need to make her get relaxed. So, Do not stand in front of her like an escaped prisoner with rolling eyes. First relax yourself and understand the environment then start, Just say good day wishes, smile and move forward the conversation with interesting topics. There is a magic lie which always attracts a girl. Tell her that "You looks really nice. This dress perfectly suits you" end this line with a nice smile. This is your first trap.


What is your personality?
Do you able to describe about yourself with couple of lines? Do not try to makeup some fake characters into your personality. Just "Be Yourself"


Are you a Jerk or Nice guy?
Most of the girls feel nice guys are such boring personalities. Don't be a 100% funny guy always. It will create a joker impression about you instead of attractiveness.


Your conversations with a girl:
when a girl talk about something she like, an incident, a sad moment, her last summer trip, her pets or anything else, You need to follow "Shut Up and Listen" rule. Stop commenting, Stop giving suggestions, Stop giving advices, Stop arguments when she talk. Just shut up your bad mouth and listen what she says. She don't need a world's greatest idea from you when she talk something emotional. All she need is a caring person who respects what she is saying.


Be REAL:
Help an old lady cross the street. Be a role model for kids to look up to. Be kind to animals. Being considerate to others, no matter the age, gender, or species, is sure to make any girl's heart melt.

Be Talkative:
Girls like such an interesting guys who talk funny, naughty (sometimes), caring & polite. Just be social.

Know more about her:
You have to know about her most happiest/sad moments. Close friends, Family, Co-Workers, Her favorite food, her hobbies. Do not ask all of these to her like a survey guy. Just know it in different moments.

Your Thoughts:
If she say "Eminem is the only one who can rap very well. all others are pure crap!" Don't say "yes yes.. emimen is BEST.. I like him". Just say what you think really in polite way, This would be better, "Yes Eminem is nice.. But 50cent & Dr.Dre too perform nice, You must listen <50-c> look how great all are they.. these three guys rap nice.".

How to be an interested guy?
If she like something, then ask about her thoughts & comments about it. Let her to talk much about her favorite things. Do not let it to be a questioner session.

Learn to play at least a single musical instrument,
Learn to dance,
Have some interesting hobbies like boat riding, rock climbing,

Do not Hurt or Kid her friends:
Do not try lame jokes to kid her friends. As you are a new person to her, You need to be friendly to all of her friends too.

TRUST Yourself

First of all trust yourself, You can do it even millions of successful guys do. You lose nothing if she denies you. Just have a try learn the lesson "How to attract".

Secrets of a Long Relationship :

Be Aware of Stressful Times
There are always going to be times that your partner is simply stressed out. He had a rough day at work, his boss yelled at him, and he comes home feeling very cranky. Sure, it isn't your fault, and it's not fair. But part of being a partnership is supporting each other against the world.

So don't take the grumpiness personally, and find ways to diffuse it. If he grumps, don't argue back - because the issue isn't the thing he's grumping about, it's just that he's full of angst. Get some food into you, maybe some wine, settle down to your favorite music or movie or TV show. Let him unwind a bit, and be there. Sometimes that security of love is what really makes the difference.

Now if someone ALWAYS comes home grumpy and this is a normal course of action - to take out the world's woes on you - then it's time for therapy. A couple should always be best friends together against the world. If one person is using the other as an 'easy punching bag', that is never right

How To Treat Her Special

1. Call her the next day.

2. Always laugh at her jokes.

3. Tell her (truthfully) that you can't wait to see her again

4. Offer her a back rub, without asking for one in return.

5. Call her just to say you were thinking about her.

6. Bring her a teddy bear and chicken soup when she's sick.

7. Write her a poem.

8. Slow dance with her (not only on a dance floor).

9. Bring her flowers for no reason.

10. Send her a (handwritten) letter just to say hello.

11. Always remember your anniversaries and bring her something sweet.

12. Kiss her in the middle of a sentence.

13. Take her for a walk at sunset and stay to look up at the stars.

14. Tell her something about you that no one else knows.

15. Remind her that you still think she's beautiful.

16. Take a bubble bath together.

17. Watch a sappy movie with her.

18. Surprise her with a candle light dinner.

19. Never stop trying to impress her.

20. Tell her you love her

21. Never forget how much she means to you.

10 Efforts Of Men Which Women Appreciate

What women want is the world’s slimmest book. Shocked? The point is IF we understand them, then of course it will be the most slimmest. But men have somehow forced themselves to believe that women are the most complex creatures on planet earth.

Here I have gathered a few points which men can follow to attract her attention; but remember, do NOT think about applying all of these on one female. No two brains are the same.

Return Their Messages

Are you too busy to reply to her childish messages? Think again. She is busy with her life too. Amidst everything she keeps sharing her happy moments with you. Try the same and your efforts won’t go awry.

Dress Up For Her

Have you ever been yelled at by your mothers for not keeping your room clean? I think all of us have faced this at least once in our lifetime. The point is - females love to see things in order. Dressed up men are always cherished by them. In any case, a proper sense of dressing is also very necessary.

Cook For Her

Can you think of any one reason why for she won’t appreciate this effort of yours?

Make Her Feel Important

No doubt you got tons of attitude problems. Give this a try once regardless. Keep your ego aside and make her feel how important she is to you. Like opening a car door for her. These small efforts add up to your “good characteristics”, which she always makes a note of.

Be Patient With Her

Does she consume a huge amount of time while shopping? Great, she is a normal woman! Don’t you love watching football (or whatever your best sport is), and whenever you have your friends accompanying you the match becomes extra exciting. It is because you are able to share your excitement. Every visit to the mall is no less than a new game for each female and she tries her best to share her excitement with you. Just be a part of it.

Don’t Let Her Wait

If you are regularly late for dates just because you think you are a complete man then believe me you are loosing her.

Propose A Visit To Her Family

Girls are closer to there parents when compared to guys. Your job is to make her feel how important “her” family is for you. This way both she and her family will appreciate your efforts. But remember, you have got a family also, and they deserve first preference.

Listen Instead Of Providing Solutions

Her problems aren’t math questions that you start solving them. Women love to talk and share. Be silent and let her do that. You will be amazed at the end results.

Give Her Cards

NOT all, but a great deal of females love receiving cards.

Dance With Her

This might be a rare chance if you are bound with cultures but IF you ever get the chance, don’t miss it.

To summarize the complete article women love chivalry and respect. It is all about the extent to which you are patient with her.

Do Not Be Afraid. Handling A Female Is Not Equivalent To Flying A Jet For The First Time.

Believe it or not guys but your father’s attitude, behavior, lifestyle, etc. has left an impact on you. You might consider yourself to be ‘you’ but a certain percent of your characteristics are inherited from your parents, particularly your father. It is the age-old DNA dilemma, but one that should be cherished (although many males do consider these characteristics to be among their weaknesses; nevertheless, with this article I will try my best to eliminate that misconception).

There might have been times when you saw your father not having “that-kind-of” romance in his life. This might be so because when you started observing your parents’ relationship, it was already too late. Your father was busy with his professional life, and had the least amount of time for your mom. Growing up with a not-so-successful role model, your brain (which educates itself from the surroundings) developed an idea that even you will fail with females. And to add salt to the injury, IF somehow your first go with a girl starts off shaky, you force yourself to think that it is all because of you, and that you just can’t make it.

Starting a friendship with a girl and continuing with the relationship can seem like going on a jumbo jet ride without any proper training.

Thoughts move from bad to worse and you are now afraid of taking care of your friend just because you think you will mess it up. At this stage, you need to understand that you and your role model are two separate human beings at two separate stages of their life. It might be true that you are failing in your life BUT that does not mean it is because your father used to fail. You are failing because you don’t believe in yourself.

The Solution:

Remember that you are totally different and you can be better than your father. Before breakfast, before lunch, before dinner, and before going to bed, do not forget to tell yourself that you won’t fail and you will get through it. The moment your brain starts feeling against failure, believe me, you will be her hero once again.

You need to show her that you are not afraid of trying, that you care, and you do not want to mess things up. Talk to her and clear up all the doubts, and you yourself will feel the breeze of change blowing. Females usually appreciate guys’ efforts, and your past failures won’t keep them from giving you a second chance. They also love to live for today like the rest of the world.

Note: Suggestions above are for those males who believe in living their lives with one girl instead of ten (though you can give it a shot). If your father was the most romantic husband on planet earth then consider yourself to be very lucky…

She Is There When You Aren’t Happy, So Learn To Be There When She Isn’t Happy

Do you want to learn? A teacher is always willing to teach you. Are you stuck with some technical problem? There are millions of users online who will love to help you out. Are you unhappy and you want someone to take care of you? You will find your girlfriend extending a helping hand for you.

Now think for a few minutes. Think about the times when you were in a problem and sooner or later you found someone to help you. In some form or another there were people helping you whenever you were in trouble. There could have been times when your friend wanted your help. Though, when she saw that you were in a mess she put herself second, and chose to comfort you instead so that a tough situation didn’t seem so rough all of a sudden. So why can’t you repeat the act? Why not?

One of a woman’s most prominent characteristics is to take care of her man. If she admires him then his portrait is imprinted on her brain all the time. She tries to find out what he likes and what he doesn’t. She tries hard to fulfill his needs. She is ready to give whenever possible. She is worried if he is unhappy; and she is ready to listen to what he has to say; and if it were solely in her hands, she’d even solve his problems for him. To summarize, she is ready to give more and more just to make him happy.

Nonetheless, don’t forget that there is a limit to every behavior. When you weren’t happy she was there with you, which is why for you the relationship was heading the right direction. But, do you ever think about her? Are you actually concerned about her? After all she is a human too!

Men need to understand that women have a habit of giving more and more without expecting anything in return, but there comes a time when she starts feeling needy. Those are the times when they will want men to fulfill their end of the bargain, and if that doesn’t happen, the relationship goes to gallows.

Remember that women are gifted with the potential to withstand any kind of problems, which you are facing. And in return they deserve a LOT more than what you are currently giving to her.

Do not give birth to the situation where she ends the relationship with the lines “I gave you a lot. I was there with you when you needed me. Yet, when I gave you a chance to show me what you can do for me, you made me realize that I deserve a lot more. Sorry… but I think we are done.”

So, better start giving before it’s too late.

Warning: There are times when women want men to just sit next to them and listen to

The Taste Of Chocolate

Let me start with a silly question. Do you like chocolates?

Ever gave a thought to the process, which you follow while eating a chocolate? Do you know that the taste of chocolate holds the secret to an everlasting love life? Below, I will discuss the process of eating the chocolate and then relate that process to your love life. Read on…

Step 1 - Your brain sends a stimulus saying it wants chocolate.

Step 2 - You buy the chocolate.

Step 3 - You unwrap the chocolate.

Step 4 - You eat the chocolate.

Step 5 - The chocolate starts its journey from your tongue to your throat.

Step 6 - It ends up in your stomach and you are done.

Okay. The above steps were slightly silly, but they hold with them some unsaid truths of nature. Read the above steps once again, and figure out during which one of them you found yourself enjoying the chocolate the most. Which were they?

Through Step 4 and step 5, from when you put the chocolate in your mouth to when it traveled down your throat, was the time when you were actually tasting your chocolate. Once in stomach (step 6), it was all gone.

And why am I saying these things?

Because I want you to prevent your relationship to end up in your stomach. Roll through a flashback, and recall the moment when you first felt your emotions towards her: the time when you two hesitated while speaking to each other even though their was so much to say, the moment when you were lost in her dreams and you slipped down a step of the staircase . . .

Won’t you love for those days to come back? Well, we cannot actually bring back something that is gone, but what we can do is slow down the current erosion of our relationships. I am not asking you to avoid eating chocolates, but I want you to re-create those special moments of excitement over and over again.

So next time when you are with her, be only with her and leave everything else behind you.

If you are married, then try and re-create that first night after marriage once again. You will have to convince her for this, and I am sure she won’t say no. Always love her more than you loved her yesterday. Love her like there won’t be another tomorrow.

So, savor and hold on to the taste of that chocolate for as long as possible. Enjoy it to the fullest.

Warning: While you are busy bringing back those old moments of bliss please do not overdo them! You will ruin everything.

Why do Women Talk A Lot?

Isn’t that one of the most spoken about questions? The unsaid rule of nature is that women generally talk more than men and that is a very important reason to why I am able to spend 8 hours nonstop in my institute without getting bored. Several guys, sometimes, tend to get fed up of this behavior leading to a relationship that slowly looses its charm. Instead, if guys knew why women talk so much then certain problems won’t ever show up.

Problems appear, when men aren’t in the mood to talk, but women continue to speak. She does not seem to understand what he wants at that time, and the situation will keep moving from bad to worse. In such cases, the guys will have to understand why she is so eager to talk.

Ever analyzed the situation when you talk more than normal? You do that to collect information or to convey thoughts. Women aren’t different from you. Whenever they want to convey their thoughts or collect information, they talk.

Another reason for talking too much is when she is trying to deal with a state of confusion. When most men are confused about something, they go into their bunkers and stop talking for a while. On the contrary, women talk more to discover what it is that she is confused about?

When men are upset they go into their hideouts to cool off, while women love to share their problems. They start searching for someone who they can talk to about their problems. She feels better and that feeling of loneliness dies down once she shares those problems.

Men go silent when they want to get to know themselves better, whereas women share their feelings to discover their inner self. Men are afraid that too much company can rob them of themselves; while sharing everything out loud is the way a female will discover herself.

Now let me get back to the practical example, which I pointed out earlier in this article. Revert back to those moments when you weren’t in the mood to talk; yet she was constantly speaking. You know why? Just because you weren’t speaking. For a female sharing thoughts with the right person is the easiest way to feel comfortable, and when men go silent an insecurity of sorts creeps up. This feeling of insecurity compels her to talk even more.

Next time when you get the feeling that she is talking too much, tell yourself that there is some reason behind it: either she is confused at something, she is feeling lonely, she is trying to gather information, she is trying to convey her thoughts or maybe she is just trying to discover herself. Plus, do add the last point, she might be feeling insecure because you aren’t talking.

So from today don’t be angry with her because she talks too much. Instead, try to understand the motives behind the behavior. Be patient with her, and this will enhance understanding between the two of you.

Listen With Complete Dedication

Science has proved that 5% of a human’s brain is enough to do the listening job, when someone is speaking. That is the reason we are able to continue with our work while talking on phone, and the same reason explains why we can chat online with four different people simultaneously (though the Alt + Tab keys on the keyboard do contribute to making this job easier). Similarly, it is characteristic of man to divide his brain with more than one kind of work at one particular time. But, men should understand that regardless of how well this multi-tasking might get them through their other daily pursuits, when it comes to women your mind better be absolutely focused on her.

I remember the times when my friends used to share their problems with me, and I used to listen to them while simultaneously concentrating on anything else I needed to get done. As a result, my suggestions for them used to be incomplete. Once they implemented my advice, they either messed up a situation and created a potential break-up, or broke up all together. I realized that these mishaps took place partly because I wasn’t paying complete attention to the problems they needed assistance with.

So, once I made up my mind and started to actually listen to my friends with full dedication, it was only natural that I found a drastic transformation in the end results. It wasn’t as much that I was able to solve every problem after making this change, as how better I could make my friends feel about the situation just by paying complete attention to the issue they were discussing with me. Also, I was making new friends, and gaining more trust amongst people I already knew.

Similar situations occur when any female (who trusts you) shares her thoughts with you. By sharing their thoughts they are able to find an outlet for whatever is bothering them. But for this to happen successfully, they need complete attention of the man they are talking to. A man may argue that he was listening to her by repeating whatever she said; although, as stated earlier make a complete record of what they are listening to, people only need to use 5% of their brains, which means that the other part of the brain can continue concentrating on other pursuits. The problem is… this isn’t called full dedication.

Likewise, many times a female might argue that mentally you aren’t with her even though physically your body is. A male counter attacks by stating that the presence of his body near her translates as him being with her. But what she is really looking for is the presence of his soul near her, and not just his body.

Men need to understand why women talk, and they need to pay full attention to them when they do talk. Next time when she feels like sharing something, put a temporary end to anything else you were doing, or were planning to do at the time, and just listen to her. Your hand on her shoulder, gestures to confirm that you are listening, plus eye contact are enough to make her feel happy.

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Her Outfits Reflect Her Mood

Let us think like a painter. While a painter is in a bright mood, his creation will be embellished with bright and lively colors. On the other hand, once this mood goes down all kinds of dark (and dull) colors take over the canvas.

Similarly, it is a musician’s state of mind, which brings about either a party mix or the blues; it is the thinking of a fashion designer, which results into either appealing outfits or the opposite; and likewise the outfit donned by a female directly reflects her present mood.

It is well known that females do take much care of their looks, and are always highly concerned about their clothing (even though they might disagree with this). A small amount of analysis regarding the types of outfits she wears from day to day reveals her changing moods quite consistently.

Relationship with the opposite sex is always an integral part of any human being’s life. Men are always concerned about their female partners and females are very much concerned about their male partners. Concentrating on females, as this website is about Discovering Her, she tries her best to impress him most of the time. She prepares herself for dates and works on herself for any parties or weekend gatherings. This is when her interest in that particular party easily reflects on her dressing sense. If she is very excited about the gathering, then this will clearly show on her cloths. Whereas going to a place unwillingly will result in not-so-extravagant clothing: something that will not attract anyone’s attention.

Personal expression, especially of her feelings, is very important for females. If she is a hard working girl who is concerned about her future, her clothing will be general looking with no special effects to attract the crowd. As unknowingly as she would choose clothing that clearly reflects her happy mood, the day she ends up in a fight with her family members, her clothes end up saying it all.

Many times during parties one might find her changing clothes more than once in one particular day. That is all because she is very excited and wants the world to know it.

Slight analysis of a female’s daily change of clothing will take men who want to understand her state of mind a long way. BUT do not include clothing at work as those are influenced by the surroundings and the rules and regulations of that place.

LET HER RULE

Females today are competing equally with males in every field, and many times they are even found to lead them. In many situations men do not prefer a female conquering them, and this characteristic of theirs should be very well understood. Even though such kind of thoughts generate competition to some extent they also generate unwanted tension within the relationship, which results in hatred and later in break ups.

In any relationship men will always prefer to be the leaders because they are taught to be so; and many times just to show their power they go on to break the hearts of their female counterparts. Males need to understand that the days of men leading females are gone. The world is moving and so are the thoughts of both the sexes. Instead of fighting to enforce your ideas on her, the better way out is to discuss various situations with a cool mind.

An easy way to find a place in her brain is to appreciate her ideas. Let her speak because she loves to speak, listen to her, and IF possible appreciate her ideas. At any stage if you think that she is heading the wrong way, then discuss the situation with her and try to propose other ways with the situation can be worked around. Be easy with her and don’t try to force your decision on her.

Regularly suppressing her and her thoughts will result in her hiding things from you.

Slowly, as she realizes how much easier it is to just hide things from you than to make an effort and share, she will make this to be a part of the regular process; and I am sure no male will want his female partner to hide things from him. So instead of suppressing her thoughts, as stated earlier, it is always a better decision to firstly listen to her and once she is done, to put forward another way out and that too in an easy manner. Remember to be cool, calm, composed, and all other adjectives.

I have stated above that males should listen to her, and if possible request her to re-think her decision BUT this does not mean that they should try to change her decisions every time. Instead, if you think that she is the girl you want to be with then learn to love her completely and respect all her thoughts.

At times you may feel like she wants you to conquer you (just because she is madly in love with you) so ignore it and try not to overdo your efforts. Anything in excess is not good for health.

Write Down Something That You Cannot Speak

“Reading make a full man; conference a ready man; and writing an exact man” - Francis Bacon

Expressing your happiness is always an easy job. Whenever you are excited then as per the rule of nature you will shout out the reason behind your happiness to the people around you. The tensions around you evaporate and you feel like partying with your friends. But one should remember that every coin has two sides.

Scenes are totally different once you switch to dull mood. You go silent, you feel like kicking everyone off, and you want to but aren’t able to share your problems. Even after you somehow makeup your mind to share your thoughts with someone whom you trust, might often find later on that after all the hard work you were still able to recite only half of the story.

It is natural characteristic of humans to loose control whenever they are in tension. As a result it becomes impossible for them to completely express themselves, and such situations can cause blunders in sensitive relationships. It is natural characteristic of males to fight with their problems themselves and females on the other hand share their problems with someone close to them. This uneven match in thinking process between males and females is the root cause of problems almost always.

No wonder why many people prefer keeping personal diaries or personal blogs where they write about themselves and their daily life happenings. Writing down something which is there in your brain helps you ease the weight which your brain is carrying. It is scientifically proved that once someone writes down his problems, then his tension reduces to half. Keeping personal diaries or a personal blog might not be everyone’s choice as there are chances of such writings going public and being read by someone who isn’t entitled to read it.

This is when sharing your thoughts with your friend is the best option. There must be that special someone out there whom you trust but you aren’t able to gather the courage to speak out what you want to. The best way out is to write down an email, detail your problem, and shoot it to her with a request for some suggestion. Once you know that someone else is also working on your problem then things will ease out for you.

This also helps in keeping your relationship crystal clear. Whenever you feel like there is something between you two which needs to be shared but somehow you aren’t able to share it face to face then please do not waste time and write about it and show it to her. If your relationship is crystal clear then no power on earth can break it. Try it!

Size Of Gift Does Not Matter Regularity Does

“A woman asks little of love: only that she be able to feel like a heroine.” ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic’s Notebook, 1966.

Gifts are like magnets and the general rule is: “Men should think twice before choosing some gift for her.” Although this line is very correct still I would like to add something to it. “Men should think twice before choosing some gift for her, AND be regular with gifts.”

The added point is extremely important and almost always overlooked by males while in a relationship with some female. In early days of the relationship excitement level is at its extreme and males tend to make it more exciting by performing various acts. Small gifts like: 4 liners to express feelings, saying I love you in various languages, calling her on phone daily, taking her out for dinner, praising her acts and her characteristics etc. are part of their daily routine. Males give equal importance to such stuff along with their daily issues.

BUT as the relationship progresses the promptness of such small gifts decreases and in many situations it tends to be zero. Males develop a thinking that size of gift matters and their point of interest deviates from small gifts to king size efforts. As a result the time gap between two successive efforts increases.

He may think that after buying a diamond ring for her he won’t have to buy gifts for maybe the next 30 days. After all, the ring wasn’t cheap! Here males need to understand that the gap of 30 days was enough to overshadow the importance of the rich gift. The reason behind this is simple: “Females give equal importance to every gift whether big or small.”

Women need your present energy, effort, and attention much more than your wealthy life style. A phone call every morning will bring you closer to her when compared to all the expensive gifts every month.

After marriage females cook meals, clean up everything, and look after the house whereas males earn money to pay bills and they think they have done their job. It’s false. Along with their tiring job, which brings in hefty paychecks men need to continue with their small efforts (mentioned earlier) which they used to perform when their relationship was in its infancy.

Women Feel Insecure When Men Suddenly Becomes Quiet

“The best way to help a man grow is to let go of trying to change him in any way.”

Well, if you are one of the regular readers of this blog then you must be knowing very well why woman talk? Males on the other hand are totally different. They like to go silent whenever they are confused. Females prefer sharing their problems if they are confused. This is their style of cooling down while men prefer to stay lonely for few hours in order to cool off their nerves.

Problems arise because females try to compare such situations (of males going silent) with theirs. She starts thinking that by staying silent he is trying to deny his problems. This is enough for her to get tensed. Females care a lot for her man and even if he is suffering from smallest of the problems she wants to solve those.

He needs to explain to her that he might be upset but he is capable of overcoming the problem himself and all what he needs is few hours to sit lonely and think. Tell her that you want to share the problem but first you need some time to cool down. Once you are in your senses you will talk.

Instead once he is upset and she asks, “What is the problem?” he puts an awkward end to the problem by saying, “I am OK.” These three words are enough for her to think the worst. She starts wondering what it is he is worried about and why isn’t he ready to share his problem. The situation goes from bad to worse when he repeatedly denies her request of sharing his problems. She feels like he is ignoring her, as he does not trust her. This marks the beginning of the end of the relationship.

Thus as explained earlier in this article, whenever men are tensed they should explain to her that they will share their problem but first they need some time to cool off. Try this and you will be amazed to see how she willingly gives you the space, which you need.

Ladies first(not always)

Those day are past when women wanted the helping hand of males so as to rise to the heights of success. Be it silver screen, army, IT, medical, fashion or whatever, females have started to perform at a much better level when compared to males. Now, instead of going extra philosophical let us talk about the lighter view of the quote Ladies First which the females of today want men to understand.

Misunderstanding in a relationship is common and so is mental tension and loneliness for both male and female. In such situations instead of waiting for the other to break ice males should take lead and apologize. Here apologizing doesn’t exactly mean to say sorry but to discuss with your other half the reasons behind your problems and to sort them off.

Many times when he is tensed, he goes silent and expects her to know what is the problem and what she should do. In such situations he won’t understand that she is a human too and she will think as per her behavior when she gets tensed. Here the job of male is to express to her that he is facing some problem but he can handle it himself and she need not worry. He has to be the first one to express the problems so as to lighten the tension.

These were just two of the many steps which explained how his first steps might help in maintaining the excitement of a relationship. Here I will add two more points where males can take the first step to maintain the liveliness in a relationship:

• Gifts, yes! Why expect her to ask for gifts? How about males going regular with gifts?
• Instead of waiting for her to express her thoughts he should try and creep into her brain to know what exactly she is tensed at. Initially she might resist this but later on she will feel easy once she shares her problems. After all females love to talk.

To summarize falling in love and starting a relationship is easy but you will have to be creative to continue with it with same intensity. Instead of waiting for her to do the hard work and be creative why can’t males themselves be the first? What say?

Share with her

It is well known fact males prefer hiding their problems from people around them. One important reason behind such behavior is their attitude. Males prefer solving their problems themselves and sharing problems with someone is like expressing that he has failed to overcome that problem. And here their male thinking stops them from sharing their thoughts. Males hate it if someone thinks that they are unfit to solve their own problems.

While on the other hand females prefer sharing their thoughts with people around them and this is the best way they know to ease of their tension. The difference in thinking between the two starts creating confusions in their relationship when these characteristics of theirs collide.

When he withdraws from her just because he is facing some problem and he prefers solving it himself, she starts taking it personally. She feels like he is ignoring her and that he doesn’t trust her. As per her nature she will start digging in so that she might be able to know what it is he is tensed at. This is an effort from her side to know his problem and help him out with the same. But any male would hate being forced to say his thoughts and that too in a situation when his brain is busy working on the complex problem, which he is facing.

Males need to understand that she has a right to talk about her feelings of being ignored and unsupported just as he has the right to withdraw when confused at something. When in such times she feels the need to talk about his feelings then he should validate his feelings. If he isn’t ready to share his problem completely then he should at least ease her tension by saying that “I know you want to help me out but please let me solve it my way. I am capable of doing this.”

Once you explain your situation to her then she will surely understand what you are going through and will gift you with the space that you want. She will be confused that why is he ignoring her when the understanding between them has been awesome so far? His explanation to her can do wonders and save their relationship from going to the world of unending confusions.

Do share your problems with her. After all she is your better half!

She is not complaining even though it looks like she is.

Men and women have totally different ways of thinking and this is fact. This variation on their thoughts clearly shows on their figure of speech. It is almost like both men and women went to different schools in childhood and both consulted different books. This is the only reason why they misunderstood each other so often and many romantic moments ended up in cold wars.

If men were able to understand the hidden meaning behind her sentences then the amount of misunderstandings will decrease and he will start listening to her and give more importance to her thoughts. He needs to understand that with a frustrated brain anyone can go on to say things, which she actually doesn’t mean. Males prefer expressing their feelings to the point but females have the habit of expecting him to understand whatever she means even though she might not say it directly.

If she complains that she isn’t getting enough romance then he thinks she wants to say that he isn’t romantic. This looks to him like pointing the finger on him. He gets confused that why is she complaining even though they had been living a romantic life. Here the real meaning of more romance was romance at that particular instant of time. It was her way of expressing her feelings and by giving it the face of a complaint he totally destroyed the moment.

Similarly some day she might complain that they are dating less these days even though they went out on a date the last week itself. Again, here she wasn’t complaining but wanted to express that she wants to go out with him at that very moment itself.

These two examples make it clear that how literally translating her sentences could easily confuse a man because for him speech is the means of conveying fact and information.

One more very general and confusing sentence is when she says “You don’t listen to me.” He might at times quickly repeat what she had said just to show that he was listening but she meant something else. She wanted him to know that he wasn’t able to understand the hidden meaning of her sentences. By saying “I am not being heard” she means she is not being understood, and wants a confirmation from him that he is interested in whatever she is saying.

This concludes that men need to be more thoughtful when it comes to understanding her. They need to understand that she isn’t complaining even though it looks like she is.

Females Look For Empathy And Nurturing Instead Of Solution

I have pointed this out before and want to point it out once again: for females relationship is more important than work and technology. Even though these days the other way round might be true for some females still at some point of time it is the relationship which will matter more for her. This is the only reason why there are more cases of females complaining about the missing effects of the relationship. She cares for the relationship, which she is in with her partner, and hence, expresses her concern.

She loves to share her problems because this is a nice way for her to come close to her partner. At the time when she was talking about her problem she didn’t expected any solutions (because if she had expected any then she would have said that straight.) She is stressed when facing some problem and by sharing her thoughts she is able to find relief from her tension. This might be confusing for males because for him sharing his problems means expecting a solution and once she shares her problems with him he starts looking for solutions. Although what she wanted from him was his ears listening to her problems and boost her confidence.

Males have the habit of solving every problem related to them as this gives a boost to their confidence but they should prefer biting their tongues when they feel the urge to solve the problems, which she is talking about. Men need to place them in the situation where they know a solution to some problem but someone rejects that solution and asks them to go the other way. They will get frustrated and same is the case with females. They get frustrated when something is forced on them even though they know the way out.

Thus, instead of providing a solution to her problems he should prefer to listen to her and motivate her. A sentence like “This seems to be a tough problem but I know you are capable enough to come out of it. Whenever you need me just tell me.” is enough to boost her confidence and is enough to empower her so that she can handle the problem herself. She feels cherished when she is praised and this is exactly what she was looking for when she shared her problems. So next time listen patiently to what she says and do not always jump in to solve her problems.

GOOD GIRLS LIKE BAD BOYS

There’s a vast difference between the words “like” and “love”; if you know this then carry on reading this till the end. This is not a message to change the boys who are good, honest, and humane and are looking for love and relationship. Well all that I want to convey is significantly very clear from the title, “good girls like bad boys”. When I said this phrase to some of my female friends, I faced a huge resentment from them where they clearly stated me that “no! Never!”, “at the end the girl always desire for a good guy”. Hey! Wait a minute! Did I mention the word “end”?

The word “Like” means to find something pleasant. “Love” is to like someone in the strongest possible way. So, I hope you got the difference in the simplest words. There has been a considerable change in the mindset on the current generation urban girl of the society. Now! If you imply the boundations on them then you can restrict them in four walls but not from watching M TV roadies or using internet. There has been a continues sway in terms of likes and dislikes, what we want to be in the long run and what we want to be currently are two very different things. There is something called an “x-factor”, which is present in many characteristics of boys that we categorize under the term bad.

Well there is something called “interesting”, which is far more important than “smart”, “dependable” and “intelligent”, in the priority list of modern girl. They want to be free. There is a major portion of every girl that believes in the fact, she is a girl, and she is a good girl. When such girls comes across a guy who is just not the right kind of person to know, he flirts, sometimes he smokes, sometimes he is passionate, he is careless, he is ill mannered, he is disrespecting the elders, he seldom drinks, he rides bike breaking the rules, he takes too many risks, he teases people, he is naughty, he takes credits of his work, he blames other people for his failures, he speaks absurd words in between, he stares at his female friends yet he is there for them all the time. Fellow boys view this guy as just another spoiled brat; the back bencher extroverts enjoy his company and are just like him and the goody-goody boys maintains a safe distance from him. This guy is not a criminal, he is average or above average in studies, he is liked immensely by some people and most important is that he is bad but not cheat, he is what he is(not fake), he lies but don’t ditch, he is careless but cute, he is interesting and never boring to be with.

All of us among the boys have an instinct to be on top, if we play we want to win, if we give exam we want to pass, the current gen boys have a desire to succeed. All of us turn out to be with many similar traits in our persona. When in such a scenario, a girl comes across the guy mentioned in second paragraph then firstly she will try to be far away from him and hesitate to know him closely. This guy is different and in a time will surely catch her eye. She might even advice her friends never to talk with this guy but she will observe him and at the end of the day think about him. All girls are mothers from within and have immense love and affection in them. Once she is friendly with this guy, she will start giving him more space in his mind then other guys she knows. This guy needs me! There will be an instinct in her that he is not bad, no one is bad by birth. Why does he smoke sometimes? His bad habits are too small as compared to his pure heart. This guy can change! In such a quest she would enter his life in a stronger way. She will try to experiment all that she ever wanted to do, may be break a few rules and prove to all that even she can be with bad, for those who had never taken her seriously and always taken her for granted. She would defend him in front of her other friends. Perhaps she would be sure that he flirts with many girls but all that he likes is her company. Her love can change him, she will change him! In such a stronger effort she eventually likes him too much. The dedicated female beings give in emotions and care. Whether this liking turns to love or marriage or anything else is not what is my concern but this is a fact that good girls like bad boys, the following set sequence of thoughts are responsible for this phenomenon. As we advance in life, we learn the limits of our ability. Even if you completely disagree with me then too think about it!

My priority with this article has been to tell them (the guys of today) my thoughts with clear small sentences and fast interesting format. At the end of the day they must leave the page with a mindset that I wanted to convey and I want “all good boys”, to never be confused that what is in this bad guy that is missing in him. As it’s not the ability of boy but the mindset of females that makes the difference

This article is a guest post from Pulkit, a passionate print media writer, who is trying hard to switch to this mad planet of bloggers

A GIFT FOR HER

Let me ask a simple question. If you think that she isn’t that special that you give her all the happiness then why do you run behind her? Why do you call her daily and regularly want her to come out for dates? Believe me, she deserves more than what you are currently doing for her.

Females are that creation of God who have been gifted with qualities like perseverance, caring nature, thoughtful brains (even though they tend to commit blunders sometimes but isn’t such behavior part of their beauty?) and the quality of helping those for whom they care.

While she is young and the relationship between her and her partner is in its infancy she is willing to sacrifice and mold herself to fulfill her partner’s needs. She will think a lot about him, about his likings and disliking and will try her best to make her feel comfortable and cozy. She tends to forget herself and her feelings, her thoughts, and her needs all show up once she matures and this is the time when then she realizes how she had been busy in giving herself away and how she never cared for her own feelings.

Once she feels the need to fulfill her dreams then she will begin to set limits and will expect him to fulfill her needs. This unexpected change confuses him and he feels like she is trying to withdraw away from the relationship. He might try to sort things out but as he does not know the real reason behind her withdrawal so he isn’t able to solve this confusing problem. Slowly the distance between the two increases and the relationship goes to gallows.

To avoid such disastrous end results males must give to her everything they can from the day-one of their relationship so that once their relationship grows then the feelings of being neglected by the other doesn’t creep in.

While in younger years, males are more self-absorbed and unaware of the needs of others, they are busy with their own life and midst of all this they forget that their partner has some dreams, which need to be looked after. When he matures then he realizes how he can better serve and respect others. His major change is becoming more aware of how he can succeed in giving.

But what I want to emphasize here is the fact that males should develop this maturity as soon as possible. They must understand the fact that she deserves her dreams and if she has molded herself to fulfill his needs then why can’t he do that? After all it is their relationship, which will grow stronger and stronger if both of them think about the other.