10 TIPS FOR RELATIONSHIP SUCCESS

1. Without quality time, your relationship will not survive. Carve out at least half an hour a night, and at least one day a month when you the two of you spend time exclusively together.

2. A good relationship is built on compromise and a great deal of give and take on both sides.

3. Keep your dependence and independence in balance. Tell and show your partner how much you need him, but don’t cling, as that can make your partner feel trapped.

4. Encourage him to listen to you, by showing appreciation when he does. By the same token, show interest when he talks to you. Be aware that most men aren’t mentally programmed for conversation in the way women are. They need more silence and internal time.

5. Make him appreciate you. Don’t wait for a spontaneous compliment, but say something good about yourself and ask for his agreement.

6. Teach him, preferably early in your relationship, exactly how to give you a fail-safe orgasm because it’s unlikely he’ll find out alone. If you don’t yet know yourself, find out.

7. Learn to do the one thing that is most likely to restore good feeling in your relationship — giving your partner a genuine, loving and approving smile.

8. Often those subtle quirks that first attracted you to your partner can, with time, turn around and become toe-scratching annoying habits. Learn to love him, warts and all.

9. Hidden resentments poison a relationship; so if something bothers you, say it. Remember that while men are wary of emotional conversations, they love to find solutions. Express your problem and then ask him to help you find the answer.

10. Learn that punishing your partner won’t work. It may make you feel better to give him a hard time, but it will actually make him dig his heels in more. A better tactic is to reward the things you like and ignore what you don’t like. Know when to leave.


If your life aims are incompatible, there are heavy drugs or violence around, or if there is consistently more pain than pleasure, then walk before the relationship destroys u

Things To Be Avoided in Relationship

We learn best by making mistakes, but too many mistakes can have negative effects on your relationship. Here are some tips to avoid mistakes:


1. Don't wait, express your love right now!

2. Don't worry, be happy

3. Don't gloat when you are right

4. Don't sulk when you don't get your way

5. Don't make the same mistake twice

6. Don't spend your prime time watching TV

7. Don't interrupt when she/he is talking

8. Don't take one another for granted

9. Don't hold grudges

10. Don't let your mind wander during conversations

11. Don't wait for your partner to read your mind

12. Don't be judgmental

13. Don't leave lovemaking until just before sleeping

14. Don't make love the same way every time

15. Don't be afraid to share your feelings

16. Don't try to change your partner

How To Attract A Girl

So, You like to get a girl, who is your class mate, colleague, girl at next door, a party chick or some one? You are a shy guy to start with girls? Keep this in your mind always "Girls aren't aliens to fear about". Kick your foolish shyness and fear at first.


Be a Man:
Do not degrade yourself with your inferior things. Look at the couples you see at beach, park & every where else.. If he can get a girl then why not you?


First Meet/Date/Conversation?
Buddy, You need to make her get relaxed. So, Do not stand in front of her like an escaped prisoner with rolling eyes. First relax yourself and understand the environment then start, Just say good day wishes, smile and move forward the conversation with interesting topics. There is a magic lie which always attracts a girl. Tell her that "You looks really nice. This dress perfectly suits you" end this line with a nice smile. This is your first trap.


What is your personality?
Do you able to describe about yourself with couple of lines? Do not try to makeup some fake characters into your personality. Just "Be Yourself"


Are you a Jerk or Nice guy?
Most of the girls feel nice guys are such boring personalities. Don't be a 100% funny guy always. It will create a joker impression about you instead of attractiveness.


Your conversations with a girl:
when a girl talk about something she like, an incident, a sad moment, her last summer trip, her pets or anything else, You need to follow "Shut Up and Listen" rule. Stop commenting, Stop giving suggestions, Stop giving advices, Stop arguments when she talk. Just shut up your bad mouth and listen what she says. She don't need a world's greatest idea from you when she talk something emotional. All she need is a caring person who respects what she is saying.


Be REAL:
Help an old lady cross the street. Be a role model for kids to look up to. Be kind to animals. Being considerate to others, no matter the age, gender, or species, is sure to make any girl's heart melt.

Be Talkative:
Girls like such an interesting guys who talk funny, naughty (sometimes), caring & polite. Just be social.

Know more about her:
You have to know about her most happiest/sad moments. Close friends, Family, Co-Workers, Her favorite food, her hobbies. Do not ask all of these to her like a survey guy. Just know it in different moments.

Your Thoughts:
If she say "Eminem is the only one who can rap very well. all others are pure crap!" Don't say "yes yes.. emimen is BEST.. I like him". Just say what you think really in polite way, This would be better, "Yes Eminem is nice.. But 50cent & Dr.Dre too perform nice, You must listen <50-c> look how great all are they.. these three guys rap nice.".

How to be an interested guy?
If she like something, then ask about her thoughts & comments about it. Let her to talk much about her favorite things. Do not let it to be a questioner session.

Learn to play at least a single musical instrument,
Learn to dance,
Have some interesting hobbies like boat riding, rock climbing,

Do not Hurt or Kid her friends:
Do not try lame jokes to kid her friends. As you are a new person to her, You need to be friendly to all of her friends too.

TRUST Yourself

First of all trust yourself, You can do it even millions of successful guys do. You lose nothing if she denies you. Just have a try learn the lesson "How to attract".

Secrets of a Long Relationship :

Be Aware of Stressful Times
There are always going to be times that your partner is simply stressed out. He had a rough day at work, his boss yelled at him, and he comes home feeling very cranky. Sure, it isn't your fault, and it's not fair. But part of being a partnership is supporting each other against the world.

So don't take the grumpiness personally, and find ways to diffuse it. If he grumps, don't argue back - because the issue isn't the thing he's grumping about, it's just that he's full of angst. Get some food into you, maybe some wine, settle down to your favorite music or movie or TV show. Let him unwind a bit, and be there. Sometimes that security of love is what really makes the difference.

Now if someone ALWAYS comes home grumpy and this is a normal course of action - to take out the world's woes on you - then it's time for therapy. A couple should always be best friends together against the world. If one person is using the other as an 'easy punching bag', that is never right

How To Treat Her Special

1. Call her the next day.

2. Always laugh at her jokes.

3. Tell her (truthfully) that you can't wait to see her again

4. Offer her a back rub, without asking for one in return.

5. Call her just to say you were thinking about her.

6. Bring her a teddy bear and chicken soup when she's sick.

7. Write her a poem.

8. Slow dance with her (not only on a dance floor).

9. Bring her flowers for no reason.

10. Send her a (handwritten) letter just to say hello.

11. Always remember your anniversaries and bring her something sweet.

12. Kiss her in the middle of a sentence.

13. Take her for a walk at sunset and stay to look up at the stars.

14. Tell her something about you that no one else knows.

15. Remind her that you still think she's beautiful.

16. Take a bubble bath together.

17. Watch a sappy movie with her.

18. Surprise her with a candle light dinner.

19. Never stop trying to impress her.

20. Tell her you love her

21. Never forget how much she means to you.

How To Write A Love Letter

One of the best ways to convey exactly how you feel about someone is through words. A special love poem written by you or someone else, sentimental quotes or thoughts of love are just a few ways to convey your thoughts to your loved one. When writing a love letter, you can tell your love exactly how you feel with words from the heart!

Writing the perfect love sentiments can be a little difficult for anyone. Due to that fact, we've gathered some love quotes, sentiments, tips and ideas on how to write a love letter to help you. You might also consider sending an e-card that has the perfect sentiments already on it!

Imagine exactly how your love will feel when they see your feelings in a poem, quote, or sentiment. You can even go a little further and post it as a love dedication or in poetic form on the Internet for your love to see!! Below are a few tips to keep in mind when you're writing something...

1. Make it personal.

2. Let the words come from your heart.

3. Include why you love them and how they make your world brighter just by being in it.

4. Express your gratitude for them being in your life.

5. Be affectionate and loving.

6. Let them know your love for them will never fade and you will always be there.

7. If you are sending it by mail or delivering it to them physically, hand write it.

8 If you are sending it electronically, make a web page with the poem on it, have it posted as a love dedication or as a poetry submission.

9. Whatever you write... make sure you are truthful and sincere

LOVE TIPS FOR A COUPLE

1. Take time to enjoy each others company.

2. Make every effort to become each others best friend.

3. Share your dreams with each other. Don't keep them to yourselves, thinking your partner should know them. I know of very few, if any, people that are mind readers.

4. Forgive each other quickly of their mistakes. NEVER go to bed mad. Regardless of how angry you are, forgive quickly, and never sleep apart.


5. Tell your partner, "Drive safely please. I love you!."

6. Give each other hugs at least twice a day.

7. Take time to meditate and/or pray together.

8. Spend time with other happy couples - it might just rub off on you.

9. Go to a dance instructor and take dance lessons together.

10. Be the first one to say "I'm sorry" after a disagreement.

11. Respect each others need for quiet private time.

12. Take long moon-lit walks on the beach, or through the park, while holding hands.

13. Make your anniversary celebration an all day event. If possible take the day off from work, and celebrate your love all day.

14. Make time from your busy schedules for a second honeymoon or a romantic getaway

LOVE TIPS FOR GUYS

1. Make a cassette tape of your and her favorite love songs, then record (in your voice) a special, romantic message at the end!

2. Write her a poem (See our Romantic Poetry for inspiration)

3. Leave little notes around telling her things you love about her.

4. Let her rest her head in your lap.

5. If she's feeling stressed out, give her a massage and help her work out a better way to do things.

6. Let her wear your clothes. It's almost guaranteed she'll look better in one of your button down shirts than you do. (Kind of sexy too!)

7. If she makes dinner, offer to do the dishes.

8. Always be a gentleman--hold the door for her.

9. Give her the same respect you enjoy from her.

10. Make an effort to get to know (and if you can, love) her family.

LOVE TIPS FOR GIRLS

1. Do something he would probably never expect - Send "Him" flowers!

2. Spend intimate time with him. No television, no telephone, no computer, just you and him.

3. Always respect him. Respect is one of the things men treasure the most in relationships.

4. Touch him affectionately: put your hand on the small of his back, run your fingers through his hair, using your fingertips, lightly trace the inside of his forearm.

5. Tell him he is "handsome," "rugged," and "strong", try not to use "cute."

6. Surprise him with a candle-lit dinner.

7. Tell him that you feel safe when you're in his arms.

8. Encourage him in whatever he does--sports, work, whatever.

9. Watch sports with him, even if it isn't your thing.

10. Forgive him when he messes up.

Mystery behind unconditional love solved

What actually drives people to offer unconditional love has been one of the most mysterious emotions since the dawn of humanity. Now, a new study claims to have finally unravelled the mystery.

Scientists have traced unconditional love to human mind — in fact, the emotion, experienced as a desire to care for another person without any thought of reward, emerges from “a complex interplay between brain’s seven separate areas”.

“Unconditional love, extended to others without exception, is considered to be one of the highest expressions of spirituality. However, nothing has been known regarding its neural underpinnings until now,” lead author Mario Beauregard of Montreal University was quoted by the Times as saying.

To reach the conclusion, the scientists recruited subjects with a
proven ability to feel strong unconditional love — low-paid assistants looking after people with learning difficulties.

They asked them to evoke feelings of unconditional love and hold them in their minds while they had a magnetic resonance imaging scan. Of the seen brain areas that became active, three were similar to those of romantic love. The others were different, suggesting a separate kind of love.

The findings showed that some of the areas activated when experiencing unconditional love were also involved in releasing dopamine — a chemical deeply involved in sensing pleasure, with rising levels strongly linked to feelings of reward and even euphoria.

“The rewarding nature of unconditional love facilitates the creation of strong emotional links. Such robust bonds may critically contribute to the survival of the human species,” Beauregard said.

10 Efforts Of Men Which Women Appreciate

What women want is the world’s slimmest book. Shocked? The point is IF we understand them, then of course it will be the most slimmest. But men have somehow forced themselves to believe that women are the most complex creatures on planet earth.

Here I have gathered a few points which men can follow to attract her attention; but remember, do NOT think about applying all of these on one female. No two brains are the same.

Return Their Messages

Are you too busy to reply to her childish messages? Think again. She is busy with her life too. Amidst everything she keeps sharing her happy moments with you. Try the same and your efforts won’t go awry.

Dress Up For Her

Have you ever been yelled at by your mothers for not keeping your room clean? I think all of us have faced this at least once in our lifetime. The point is - females love to see things in order. Dressed up men are always cherished by them. In any case, a proper sense of dressing is also very necessary.

Cook For Her

Can you think of any one reason why for she won’t appreciate this effort of yours?

Make Her Feel Important

No doubt you got tons of attitude problems. Give this a try once regardless. Keep your ego aside and make her feel how important she is to you. Like opening a car door for her. These small efforts add up to your “good characteristics”, which she always makes a note of.

Be Patient With Her

Does she consume a huge amount of time while shopping? Great, she is a normal woman! Don’t you love watching football (or whatever your best sport is), and whenever you have your friends accompanying you the match becomes extra exciting. It is because you are able to share your excitement. Every visit to the mall is no less than a new game for each female and she tries her best to share her excitement with you. Just be a part of it.

Don’t Let Her Wait

If you are regularly late for dates just because you think you are a complete man then believe me you are loosing her.

Propose A Visit To Her Family

Girls are closer to there parents when compared to guys. Your job is to make her feel how important “her” family is for you. This way both she and her family will appreciate your efforts. But remember, you have got a family also, and they deserve first preference.

Listen Instead Of Providing Solutions

Her problems aren’t math questions that you start solving them. Women love to talk and share. Be silent and let her do that. You will be amazed at the end results.

Give Her Cards

NOT all, but a great deal of females love receiving cards.

Dance With Her

This might be a rare chance if you are bound with cultures but IF you ever get the chance, don’t miss it.

To summarize the complete article women love chivalry and respect. It is all about the extent to which you are patient with her.

Do Not Be Afraid. Handling A Female Is Not Equivalent To Flying A Jet For The First Time.

Believe it or not guys but your father’s attitude, behavior, lifestyle, etc. has left an impact on you. You might consider yourself to be ‘you’ but a certain percent of your characteristics are inherited from your parents, particularly your father. It is the age-old DNA dilemma, but one that should be cherished (although many males do consider these characteristics to be among their weaknesses; nevertheless, with this article I will try my best to eliminate that misconception).

There might have been times when you saw your father not having “that-kind-of” romance in his life. This might be so because when you started observing your parents’ relationship, it was already too late. Your father was busy with his professional life, and had the least amount of time for your mom. Growing up with a not-so-successful role model, your brain (which educates itself from the surroundings) developed an idea that even you will fail with females. And to add salt to the injury, IF somehow your first go with a girl starts off shaky, you force yourself to think that it is all because of you, and that you just can’t make it.

Starting a friendship with a girl and continuing with the relationship can seem like going on a jumbo jet ride without any proper training.

Thoughts move from bad to worse and you are now afraid of taking care of your friend just because you think you will mess it up. At this stage, you need to understand that you and your role model are two separate human beings at two separate stages of their life. It might be true that you are failing in your life BUT that does not mean it is because your father used to fail. You are failing because you don’t believe in yourself.

The Solution:

Remember that you are totally different and you can be better than your father. Before breakfast, before lunch, before dinner, and before going to bed, do not forget to tell yourself that you won’t fail and you will get through it. The moment your brain starts feeling against failure, believe me, you will be her hero once again.

You need to show her that you are not afraid of trying, that you care, and you do not want to mess things up. Talk to her and clear up all the doubts, and you yourself will feel the breeze of change blowing. Females usually appreciate guys’ efforts, and your past failures won’t keep them from giving you a second chance. They also love to live for today like the rest of the world.

Note: Suggestions above are for those males who believe in living their lives with one girl instead of ten (though you can give it a shot). If your father was the most romantic husband on planet earth then consider yourself to be very lucky…

She Is There When You Aren’t Happy, So Learn To Be There When She Isn’t Happy

Do you want to learn? A teacher is always willing to teach you. Are you stuck with some technical problem? There are millions of users online who will love to help you out. Are you unhappy and you want someone to take care of you? You will find your girlfriend extending a helping hand for you.

Now think for a few minutes. Think about the times when you were in a problem and sooner or later you found someone to help you. In some form or another there were people helping you whenever you were in trouble. There could have been times when your friend wanted your help. Though, when she saw that you were in a mess she put herself second, and chose to comfort you instead so that a tough situation didn’t seem so rough all of a sudden. So why can’t you repeat the act? Why not?

One of a woman’s most prominent characteristics is to take care of her man. If she admires him then his portrait is imprinted on her brain all the time. She tries to find out what he likes and what he doesn’t. She tries hard to fulfill his needs. She is ready to give whenever possible. She is worried if he is unhappy; and she is ready to listen to what he has to say; and if it were solely in her hands, she’d even solve his problems for him. To summarize, she is ready to give more and more just to make him happy.

Nonetheless, don’t forget that there is a limit to every behavior. When you weren’t happy she was there with you, which is why for you the relationship was heading the right direction. But, do you ever think about her? Are you actually concerned about her? After all she is a human too!

Men need to understand that women have a habit of giving more and more without expecting anything in return, but there comes a time when she starts feeling needy. Those are the times when they will want men to fulfill their end of the bargain, and if that doesn’t happen, the relationship goes to gallows.

Remember that women are gifted with the potential to withstand any kind of problems, which you are facing. And in return they deserve a LOT more than what you are currently giving to her.

Do not give birth to the situation where she ends the relationship with the lines “I gave you a lot. I was there with you when you needed me. Yet, when I gave you a chance to show me what you can do for me, you made me realize that I deserve a lot more. Sorry… but I think we are done.”

So, better start giving before it’s too late.

Warning: There are times when women want men to just sit next to them and listen to

The Taste Of Chocolate

Let me start with a silly question. Do you like chocolates?

Ever gave a thought to the process, which you follow while eating a chocolate? Do you know that the taste of chocolate holds the secret to an everlasting love life? Below, I will discuss the process of eating the chocolate and then relate that process to your love life. Read on…

Step 1 - Your brain sends a stimulus saying it wants chocolate.

Step 2 - You buy the chocolate.

Step 3 - You unwrap the chocolate.

Step 4 - You eat the chocolate.

Step 5 - The chocolate starts its journey from your tongue to your throat.

Step 6 - It ends up in your stomach and you are done.

Okay. The above steps were slightly silly, but they hold with them some unsaid truths of nature. Read the above steps once again, and figure out during which one of them you found yourself enjoying the chocolate the most. Which were they?

Through Step 4 and step 5, from when you put the chocolate in your mouth to when it traveled down your throat, was the time when you were actually tasting your chocolate. Once in stomach (step 6), it was all gone.

And why am I saying these things?

Because I want you to prevent your relationship to end up in your stomach. Roll through a flashback, and recall the moment when you first felt your emotions towards her: the time when you two hesitated while speaking to each other even though their was so much to say, the moment when you were lost in her dreams and you slipped down a step of the staircase . . .

Won’t you love for those days to come back? Well, we cannot actually bring back something that is gone, but what we can do is slow down the current erosion of our relationships. I am not asking you to avoid eating chocolates, but I want you to re-create those special moments of excitement over and over again.

So next time when you are with her, be only with her and leave everything else behind you.

If you are married, then try and re-create that first night after marriage once again. You will have to convince her for this, and I am sure she won’t say no. Always love her more than you loved her yesterday. Love her like there won’t be another tomorrow.

So, savor and hold on to the taste of that chocolate for as long as possible. Enjoy it to the fullest.

Warning: While you are busy bringing back those old moments of bliss please do not overdo them! You will ruin everything.

Pain Is Just A Word. Move On…

What is the most common factor between boxing, wrestling, and karate? At the end of the game they leave the players suffering with some intense pain. There is the body pain by courtesy of the various blows they received throughout a match, but also the mental pain due to the prospect of losing and disappointing themselves as well as their supporters. But did you ever see those players put an end to their game in order to run away from the fears of feeling pain? No! So, does this mean they don’t feel anything at all? Again, the answer is no. Instead, the loss sends through them a new driving force to make them work harder, and achieve more the next time they get a chance inside the ring.

Our bodies are empty pots and we are the ones who teach it to function in any particular manner. It is you who teaches yourself to bear the pain or let it overwhelm you. It is you who teaches yourself to cry (or grieve) when in pain. Get the point? You are responsible for your own behavior and you have got full control on your behavior.

Similarly, you teach yourself to give up once you lose your love. You stop eating, you stop being a part of gatherings, and you stop smiling just because a girl left you. Meanwhile, that girl is busy enjoying her life with someone else.

Did you ever try to find out why things did not work out? Ever tried to jot down those reasons? If no, then you are bound to loose over and over again, and the unfortunate bonus is that the pain will always remain an integral part of your life. (We have discussed this in earlier articles of ours and we will throw more light on it later on too.)

For now, make a note of one thing: pain is nothing. You lost, and you started grieving just because you wanted to. But why? If the relationship didn’t work out then that just means there is someone else out there to understand you, and be a better partner for you than the one who left you. Remember that the world will remain with you until you keep smiling, but once that smile turns upside down you might be left very lonely. So analyze your mistakes (not understanding her is also a mistake) and gear up for the next match.

Once you learn to overcome your fear of loosing, and therefore feeling pain, believe me, you won’t be afraid of loosing her anymore. This way, you will start focusing on how to make her happy instead of holding on to her tight (just because you are afraid of the pain which you feel IF you loose her.)

In the end, it is all about making her feel more comfortable, and by succeeding in that you just minimized your chances of making her run away from you. Stop thinking about loss, pain, and their consequences, and start thinking about yourself and your future. Remember, you can either sit back and succumb to adversity, or you can stand up and fight back.

Are You a Friend Of Smiling Moments?

A smiling female face is always appreciated by males. In fact, many go on to say that they are ready to do anything for that one smile. While in the early stages of a relationship males try to bring smiles on her face, and whenever she is upset they try their best to make her feel better. But, as the relationship progresses the excitement starts fading and an on-going dull mood starts to frustrate him. The result is either that he prefers to leave her all alone, or else shouts her and blames her for everything wrong.

He tries to point out how concerned he is for their relationship as well as for her; yet, it seems as if that is never enough for her. Once the dark clouds move on from over her head, he starts enjoying her company again. Men at this stage need to understand the opposite sex. They are human beings also, and bad days come there way also.

Females have the gift of adding romance (or color to be precise) to a relationship, and also love sharing their problems with someone they can trust. Although very good at reciprocating in similar ways, as a relationship progresses males lean more towards materialistic means in order to keep the relationship lively. To accommodate this change, they start working harder and in turn fail to share some valuable time with their significant other.

When a relationship is in its prime time, is when she needs him the most. The biggest mistake will be ignoring her during this sensitive period because it will only end up in newly developed trust issues from her side.

Males at this point think that she is expecting too much from him, even though he is already working day and night for their relationship. He wants her to “adjust” to his newly found way of making her happy, and if she rejects it he gets confused, in turn upsetting her too. What all males really just need to do is sit next to her, postpone all other commitments and listen to her. His hand on her shoulder is the ultimate medicine to heal her mood.

If men have some concern for their relationships, then all they need to do is remain consistent with their old behavior (the behavior with which she fell in love with.) The day you change your natural behavior in order to improve the circumstances is the day you will mess up everything. Be with her in every kind of situation and that is all she wants from you.

Write Down Something That You Cannot Speak

“Reading make a full man; conference a ready man; and writing an exact man” - Francis Bacon

Expressing your happiness is always an easy job. Whenever you are excited then as per the rule of nature you will shout out the reason behind your happiness to the people around you. The tensions around you evaporate and you feel like partying with your friends. But one should remember that every coin has two sides.

Scenes are totally different once you switch to dull mood. You go silent, you feel like kicking everyone off, and you want to but aren’t able to share your problems. Even after you somehow makeup your mind to share your thoughts with someone whom you trust, might often find later on that after all the hard work you were still able to recite only half of the story.

It is natural characteristic of humans to loose control whenever they are in tension. As a result it becomes impossible for them to completely express themselves, and such situations can cause blunders in sensitive relationships. It is natural characteristic of males to fight with their problems themselves and females on the other hand share their problems with someone close to them. This uneven match in thinking process between males and females is the root cause of problems almost always.

No wonder why many people prefer keeping personal diaries or personal blogs where they write about themselves and their daily life happenings. Writing down something which is there in your brain helps you ease the weight which your brain is carrying. It is scientifically proved that once someone writes down his problems, then his tension reduces to half. Keeping personal diaries or a personal blog might not be everyone’s choice as there are chances of such writings going public and being read by someone who isn’t entitled to read it.

This is when sharing your thoughts with your friend is the best option. There must be that special someone out there whom you trust but you aren’t able to gather the courage to speak out what you want to. The best way out is to write down an email, detail your problem, and shoot it to her with a request for some suggestion. Once you know that someone else is also working on your problem then things will ease out for you.

This also helps in keeping your relationship crystal clear. Whenever you feel like there is something between you two which needs to be shared but somehow you aren’t able to share it face to face then please do not waste time and write about it and show it to her. If your relationship is crystal clear then no power on earth can break it. Try it!

Men Can Easily Shift From Being Close And Caring To Being Distant And Unresponsive

“An excitement is required to win over your love and similarly an excitement is required to continue living with your love.”

Increase in number of divorces after marriage or breakup even before the couple marries is the hard fact through which currently the human race is passing. Getting into relationships ‘n’ number of times and then breaking up just because their better half becomes their bitter half is the de-facto of relationships today. Although both the man and the woman are responsible for breakups in relationships, here we will try to analyze how change in behavior of males could force a change in behavior of females.

While the relationship is in its infancy men can even stand upside down to bring a smile on her face. He will call her daily, keep note of the small problems which she is facing and leave all his important work just to make her feel warm, loving and cozy. He unknowingly understands the fact that she loves to share her thoughts with him. He would listen to her and later on regularly make the same mistake i.e. he starts solving those problems even when she expects him to listen to her problems only.

Let us take an example of an unmarried couple Bob and Jenny who have been dating for almost two years. On one regular Saturday evening date the conversation starts:

Bob: You’re looking tired?

Jenny: Yeah, there was double work this week at office.

Bob: Why don’t you leave your job?

Jenny: But I love it.

Bob: What is so good in it when it leaves you tired?

Jenny: This was a rare case honey, else I love my work. It pays me well and helps me explore myself.

Bob: I will give you the money you need but you won’t work from now on. You need to take care of yourself.

Jenny: You cannot rule me this way. Sorry but I cannot leave my work.

(Silence prevailed there after…)

Here Bob cares for Jenny and hence said all what you read but he overlooked the fact that Jenny never wanted a solution for her problem. She just wanted him to listen to her problem and expected a reply like “You are a hard working girl dear and this is why I love you. Just tell me whenever you need me.”

In such situations (shown in conversations above), when she complains that he always thinks against her wishes, he will go on to reason that she is being too critical and demanding even when he is trying to solve her problems. He feels unappreciated and confused. And after that he won’t ever realize how easily he shifted from being close and caring to being distant and unresponsive.

We have also talked about how men start giving importance to larger sized gifts once their relationship grows and to earn for those huge gifts they forget to give time to their better half. Once again, they become distant even when they are working for her.

Hence males need to realize that she loved him because of the excitement and understanding nature, which he showed. He needs to continue with that old style of his if he wants the charm of their relationship to continue.

3 Steps To Save A Dying Relationship

“Optimism is the madness of insisting that all is well when we are miserable” - Voltaire

Last week I wrote how men can easily shift from being close and caring to being distant and unresponsive, and the article earned me a few emails in my inbox where few anonymous writers talked about their dying relationships. After analyzing those mails and few more examples online I compiled this three-step process to save a dying relationship.

There might be many who may NOT understand these steps, and these might sound complex for them. But those who are keen on saving their relationships MUST follow these easy steps.

Express Your Confirmation

Males need to give it a start. Begin to listen to her and request her to express what she wants and what she thinks is missing in their relationship. Once he knows the reality then it will boost him to work so as to improve their relationship. All you need to do is listen to her and understand the hidden meaning behind her sentences (archives of this blog will help you understand her a lot.)

Once she feels that she is being heard and you are ready to improve your relationship, then she will also cooperate with you. All you had to do is listen to her and express your confirmation that you are eager to improve your relationship.

Confess Your Mistakes

Even the Almighty is ready to forgive you on the condition that you apologize to Him, then why can’t you forgive your partner? Once he confesses that he wasn’t supportive and very firmly makes her realize she wasn’t supportive too, then he will find how the level of understanding improves between the two of them. But always remember something: never ever force her to apologize. She might apologize when forced but she will develop a feeling that you were trying to dominate her. Giving birth to such thinking is like the last nail in the coffin.

Practice

“Try try try till you succeed”

Both the people need to learn from their mistakes and practice hard so that those mistakes aren’t committed again. Practicing hard signifies talking to each other and improving the understanding between each other. Practice being honest to the other person by sharing literally everything with her. Believe in transparency to extreme limits.

To summarize the above three points: one must learn to set limits and respect those limits. Remember that if you have ego in you then she also carries tons of egos. Better listen to her and understand her.

Learn to adjust

“Nothing is permanent except change.”

Brain is one of those creations of nature, which learn from their surroundings. This is the only reason why a six month old kid looks with wide open eyes to everyone around her. She learns from the behavior of adults around her and these daily classes help her brain to grow. Similarly as two people close-in change is predominant. Both care for each other and both want the other to be happy. So to make him happy she might change some characteristics of herself. In many cases these changes might be drastic while in many they might go unnoticed.

Before I move on I will quote my example over here. I did my schooling from a boys school and after that I was very uncomfortable in class during the first week after I took admission in a (co-ed) engineering institute. And today after four years who would have expected that some day I would be talking ONLY on girls on my own blog? I changed as per the surroundings and my friends welcomed the changes. And those who didn’t weren’t my friends.

So why cannot males accommodate with changes when reason behind those changes is males themselves? Males should try to go back to times when they used to find it difficult to adjust to limits (set unknowingly by her) so as to avoid upsetting her. Similarly it was difficult for her to set limits. She cared for him and she never wanted to upset him, hence she learned to set limits for her just to keep him happy.

He needs to understand that the two of them will become more graceful as time passes as they will start understanding the other more deeply.

If he observes changes in her then instead of blasting her off he should rather reason behind those changes. Then he should explain to her that those changes are for the betterment of their relationship.

Once again I will like to point out that with growing age change is inevitable. Adjust with it and you will find how easily you and your partner feel comfortable with each other.