I remember the times when my friends used to share their problems with me, and I used to listen to them while simultaneously concentrating on anything else I needed to get done. As a result, my suggestions for them used to be incomplete. Once they implemented my advice, they either messed up a situation and created a potential break-up, or broke up all together. I realized that these mishaps took place partly because I wasn’t paying complete attention to the problems they needed assistance with.
So, once I made up my mind and started to actually listen to my friends with full dedication, it was only natural that I found a drastic transformation in the end results. It wasn’t as much that I was able to solve every problem after making this change, as how better I could make my friends feel about the situation just by paying complete attention to the issue they were discussing with me. Also, I was making new friends, and gaining more trust amongst people I already knew.
Similar situations occur when any female (who trusts you) shares her thoughts with you. By sharing their thoughts they are able to find an outlet for whatever is bothering them. But for this to happen successfully, they need complete attention of the man they are talking to. A man may argue that he was listening to her by repeating whatever she said; although, as stated earlier make a complete record of what they are listening to, people only need to use 5% of their brains, which means that the other part of the brain can continue concentrating on other pursuits. The problem is… this isn’t called full dedication.
Likewise, many times a female might argue that mentally you aren’t with her even though physically your body is. A male counter attacks by stating that the presence of his body near her translates as him being with her. But what she is really looking for is the presence of his soul near her, and not just his body.
Men need to understand why women talk, and they need to pay full attention to them when they do talk. Next time when she feels like sharing something, put a temporary end to anything else you were doing, or were planning to do at the time, and just listen to her. Your hand on her shoulder, gestures to confirm that you are listening, plus eye contact are enough to make her feel happy.
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