GIVE LOVE ANOTHER CHANCE

Can a relationship that has suffered a nasty split be reconstructed again?
If you can fight with a sibling and get back together; revolt against your parents and be accepted back in the fold again; disagree with friends and be reconciled, what’s so unnatural about a rapprochement with your spouse? How many times siblings betray your faith when they tattle to parents or destroy your book in a fit of anger! So what’s so much worse when you think a spouse has betrayed you? If the life you have shared with each other has been good and meaningful, why would you let one mistake wipe out that memory? Wouldn’t you give life another chance?

If it is easy to forgive yourself when you believe you have made a mistake or sinned, why should it be more difficult to extend the same generosity to your spouse? There have been so many cases where couples who separated have united once again after sorting out the disputes between them.

Happy reconciliations or compromises, genuine love or just a bonding – the couples alone would know. But what matters is that to all appearances, they present a dignified front and a togetherness that has surmounted hardships. Their bond is probably stronger now since there are no pretensions about it. No airy references to everlasting romance; no illusions about themselves, about each other or about their relationship. The second time round it is the bond they have entered with eyes wide open, quite sure of where to draw the line; with minimal expectations and with a genuine desire to give the relationship a chance.

What a contrast to the first time round, when you enter marriage enveloped in a rose-tinted cloud; high on expectations and clutching your exit clause in case the things go wrong. When expectations are high, there is bound to be disappointment. Not even the luckiest of us is likely to land a spouse who matches our wish list. At the time of the second coming though, you are already aware of all that could go wrong and apart of making a greater effort, you are more eager to be pleased. The past is buried out of sight, but not out of mind.

Often when the lessons to be learned in the relationship are completed, the relationship has natural ending and the two souls move on. Also, there are many types of love and many types of soul relationships. Romantic love is only one of these types.

If you believe this, you would believe that Destiny in an estranged couple coming together again. And surely the lessons to be learnt would be absorbed with a more open mind this time round. You only need to be vigilant as to what is the lesson to be learnt – Is it patience? Forgiveness? Lessening of anger? Dealing with pain? Sensitivity towards others? It could be one or all of these, but the ultimate lesson to be learnt is the lesson of love. Give it the second chance!